Ode to Clementine

While in NICU, I spent as much of my day as I could by her side.  Nights, however, were hard.  I would come home feeling empty handed, rudderless, and foggy.  I was aware of every minute that passed until I could hop back into the car and be with her again.

A few routines made those nights easier.  Pumping was a job, and if ever I needed to feel useful, it was then.  I welcomed the task of accumulating every last drop of milk to bring to her.  It kept me focused and bonded.  It helped me make sense of our nights apart.  It was a piece of me that I felt stayed behind with her.

I also used my nights to get our house ready for her arrival.  I washed her layettes in delicate detergent, hung and folded clothes, arranged diapers and creams in her changing drawer, and cleaned & scrubbed the house as if she was the queen coming for a visit.  I would wander around, gazing into rooms from hallways, asking myself, "would Frances like her bassinet next to this window or that one?"  (It was only a matter of time before she would be home and I'd realize her crossed newborn eyes couldn't care less about the furniture arrangement.)

My favorite nighttime routine was learning the words to certain songs to sing to her the following day.  With her own private room, I could unabashedly sing 'You are my sunshine', 'I'll be here in the morning', some old lullabies, and 'Oh my darling Clementine' to her, and she would quietly listen and gaze off into wild newborn yonder.

Well.  I don't pump anymore, Frances continues to not care about the tidiness of our house, her clothes now get washed with ours in regular laundry detergent, and I still sing those songs to her everyday.  It's the best.  She is in the yummy squinchy baby phase that's all gummy smiles and kicky legs while I sing, and I will enjoy every minute of her happiness until she's old enough to make fun of my voice.

Yesterday I made clementine cake and made sure to sing 'Oh my darling Clementine' from start to (depressing) finish.  Ooof.

___________________________________________________________

In a cavern, in a canyon,

Excavating for a mine,

Lived a miner, forty-niner

And his daughter Clementine

chorus:

Oh my Darling, Oh my Darling,

Oh my Darling Clementine.

You are lost and gone forever,

Dreadful sorry, Clementine.

Light she was and like a fairy,

And her shoes were number nine

Wearing boxes without topses

Sandals weren't for Clementine.

chorus

Drove she ducklings to the water

Every morning just at nine,

Hit her foot against a splinter

Fell into the foaming brine.

chorus

Ruby lips above the water,

Blowing bubbles soft and fine,

But alas, I was no swimmer,

So I lost my Clementine.

chorus

How I missed her! How I missed her!

How I missed my Clementine,

Till I kissed her little sister,

And forgot my Clementine.

chorus

Then the miner, forty-niner,

Soon began to peak and pine,

Thought he oughter join his daughter,

Now he's with his Clementine.

chorus

In the church yard in the canyon

Where the myrtle doth entwine

There grows roses and other posies

Fertilized by Clementine.

___________________________________________________________

Clementine Cake 

(adapted from Nigella Lawson's recipe)

Ingredients:

5 clementines

6 eggs

1 cup sugar

2 1/3 cups almond meal flour

1 heaping tsp baking powder

glug of amaretto liqueur

Put clementines in a pot of cold water to cover.

Bring to a boil, and then cook on low for 2 hours.  Clementines will be soft.

Drain and, when cool, cut them in half and remove any seeds (if any).  Then place in food processor (the whole fruit- skin, pith, and middle), and puree.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Butter and line 8" springform pan with parchment paper.

Beat eggs until light & fluffy.

Add sugar.

Then almond flour.

And then baking powder.

Then the amaretto liqueur.

Finally add the clementine puree.

Pour batter into prepared pan, and bake for 1 hour, or until toothpick is inserted in center and pulls out clean.  Let it sit for a good 30 minutes to an hour to completely cool before removing from the springform.  It's better the next day.

(Supposedly you can also go this with lemons and/or oranges as well, but I've never tried that.)