television curing television

After work yesterday, I came home, made dinner, and we bought a movie OnDemand.  (Kind of a big deal around here.)  Neve was lobbying for a light n breezy flick, while Fiona was hankering for something a little darker like The Hunger Games.

Me: "Hunger Games?  Are you serious?"

Her: "Yeah, my friend, Lucy, watched it after she read the books.  She said it was good."

Me: "She read the books?!  I'm not even old enough to watch it, Fi.  We're watching something more age-appropriate."

Her: "Ted?"

Me: "TED!?  Fiona!  Absolutely not.  How do you even know about these movies?!  Let me guess... Lucy."

Her: "What about--"

Me: "Please don't name any more.  How about... ParaNorman?"

Fiona & Neve, in unison: "YES!"

I pressed the buy button, I pulled the blanket over me, and I don't think I made it through the opening scene.  I have no idea what this movie was about.

After the movie, Fiona and Neve are still wide awake.  Terry and I are in a warm lumpy mass at the corner of the couch, fast asleep.  I muster the strength to pull myself up the stairs and into bed.  I make the kids follow.  I realize how odd it is that Neve made it through an entire movie at this hour.  I think this is a first for her.

Tucking them in, Neve says, "Can we leave a light on?"

I turn on their closet light.

Neve: "No, like a brighter light?"

I turn off the closet light and turn on a brighter side lamp.

Neve: "Like maybe that light?", pointing to the overhead light attached to the ceiling fan.

Me: "That one?  Okay."

And I kiss heads and slip into my much darker bedroom.

2 minutes later I little footsteps and whimpers.

Neve: "Mom?  I can't sleep.  I think I'm scared."

Me: "Scared?  You're never scared.  What are you afraid of?"

Neve: "Zombies."

Me: "C'mere.  Zombies aren't real.  Do you want to sleep with me until Daddy comes up and kicks you back into your bed?"

She nods.

I rub her back in bed until I fall asleep.

Neve: "I'm still thinking about dead people."

I rub her back more.  I fall asleep more.

Neve: "Still scared."

Rubbbbb.  Sleep.

Neve: "Mom?  Scared."

This went on for a long time.  It went on until I lost my patience and told her to rub her own back.  Zombies and back rubs are not related after all.

Whimper.  Whimper.

Me: "What, Neve?  There's NOTHING to be scared of.  I'll tell you all about the things that are good.  Strawberries, puppies in baskets, puppies falling out of baskets, kittens under your hat, the smell of flowers, the Easter Bunny, meadows in spring, playing in a creek, eating snap peas out of the garden, making s'mores, fat babies dressed up like animals, swinging really high, helping me bake cookies, and new shoes.  What are your favorite shoes?  What kind of shoes do you like?", I'm halfway delirious at this point.  I don't even know what I'm saying.

Neve: "I like those all of those things, but mom?  Can I just watch some Spongebob to make it all better?"

Me: "Yes."

I press the button on the remote and I'm asleep (again) before the end of the opening credits.

Neve rubs my back while she watches.