I forgot to mention that I'm also afraid of cockroaches.

About a month ago, me and him saddled up in bed to watch a movie I'd been meaning to watch for some time.  Melancholia.  Without spoiling it or giving anything away in case you've not yet seen it, I will only tell you this: it's big.  It's cosmic.  It's very existential.  I mean, the name is Melancholia.  We were not expecting anything less than just that.

Being the big baby that I am, I generally have a NO HORROR MOVIE rule in the house.  Last one I saw was The Shining, and I began crying as Shelly Duval swung her bat on the staircase.  (This was 2 years ago).  I can't handle.  That said, I was impressed that Melancholia did not bother me.  In fact, I liked it.  The director, Lars Von Trier, makes beautiful movies (despite the careless things he says in interviews), and this one was no exception.  I loved it.

As the credits began rolling, I looked over to Terry.  He had the opposite expression to my big smiling wasn't-that-awesome look.  Something more along the lines of TERROR.  He only asked if we could watch something lighter and breezier afterwards, something like, say, the Benny Hill show.  If anything can cure the cosmic collision blues it's flying old lady prop dummies.

There are about a million things I can think of right now that are fear-worthy, starting with Jack Nicholson and that staircase.  Or not being able to pay bills. Or car accidents.  But planet accidents- just too big.  Bigger than my scope of imagination.  Bigger than my fears.  This is not the case with Terry though. This was his The Shining.

* * * 

Fast forward to a few evenings ago.  We are eating ice cream cones on the porch.  Above us, there are clouds quickly moving across the moon, and shadows of trees in front of them.  Two bats flutter across the moonlight and we glance at each other.

After a few minutes, Fiona breaks the quiet with a soft question, "Mom?  Do you ever get scared of stuff?"

Assuming she was referring to the bats and the dark night I reply, "Of course I do.  Why do you ask?"

"Well, I've been dreaming about being squished lately."

"Like what kinds of things are squishing you?"

"Planets.  A planet on this side of earth, and then a planet on this side of earth.  And then they move together real slowly and then the earth just breaks into a million pieces.  That scares me a lot."

Sure that she has no idea about Melancholia or Lars or even Jack Nicholson, I know this is all her and just another (continuously amazing) similarity to her father.

Neve, with a mouthful of ice cream, replies, "Yeah, I get that feeling.  I have nightmares about cockroaches all the time."  

And she is the apple to my tree.