Best Present A Child Could Receive: Crash Course in Pop Culture

My mother-in-law brought an Entertainment Weekly mag with her when she visited during Christmas vacation. 

She left it behind, and it has since been sitting on our night table.

This was the result:

Terry and I find the girls sitting on our bed silently studying the cover.

Fiona: "Look, Mom!  It's Aunt Rachel!  With big boobies!"

katy perry, left, and aunt rachel, right.  (rachel's photo shamelessly and creepily snagged from her facebook page.)

Neve: "Oh yeah!  And there's Harry Potter and... what's that guy's name from Toy Story?"

Dera: "Woody!  And holy cow, Terry... she does kinda look like Rachel!"

Fiona: "And there's the pretty lady that Daddy likes."

Dera and Terry, in unison: "Where?"

Terry: "Oh sure.  Sophie Vergara."

Dera:  "Oh sure.  Good 'ole Sophie Vergara.  You've been having some quality conversations with your daughters, I see.  First name basis now?"

Terry: "You know... Sophie Ver-"

Dera: "Stop saying her name. Especially with that Columbian accent."

Neve: "And there's the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean!"

Dera:  "Whoa.  Impressive.  Yeah, that's Johnny Depp who was in another movie, Alice in Wonderland."

Fiona: "Yeah, the dumb scary one."

Terry: "Here we go.  There's the boy Mommy thinks is handsome."

Dera: "You mean man?  He's a man."

Fiona: "And there's the other man Mommy likes!  He's funny."

Dera: "Conan?  How do you know him?  Terry, I don't like how much they know about pop culture.  They know Conan but don't know Woody!"

Terry: "It's fine."

Neve: "And there's Rapunzel..."

Neve: "... and there's the boy that talks like a girl..."

Dera: "Whoa."

Fiona: "And there's a guy who puts ketchup on his hands."

Neve: "Fiona, that's blood, not ketchup.  Why would someone have ketchup on their hands and not wash it off [before taking their photo for the cover of a magazine]?"

Fiona: "To make it look like blood!?  Why would anyone have blood on their hands and not wash it off [before taking their photo for the cover of a magazine]?"

Dera: "Good point, Fi."

Neve: "Well, Fiona... I know that's the boy from the movie 'The Power of a Kicking Kid'."

Dera: "Terry, she just called the Karate Kid the 'Power of a Kicking Kid', and I want to pinch her she's so cute."

Terry: "Yeah, that is cute."

Fiona: "And there's Daddy's best BEST girlfriend."  She cracks herself up.

Terry: "Betty White? Alright."

Neve: "You're as pretty as Betty White, Mom."

Fiona: "Betty White, Betty White, Pretty like Betty White, Betty White, Betty White, Pretty Like...", improvises song to club house beat.  Neve joins her, and they dance around the house for the next 10 minutes singing this delight.

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In other news, we are going Amish for 2011.