I'm tired.I have greasy hair.
No matter how I position myself on this couch, I can't seem to escape the body odor wafting up from my Tom's-of-Maine-what-are-you-good-for pits.
I'm listening to a Leap Frog toy play the same song over and over again, while fantasizing that it's fate is met with a bat.
We lost about 20 tomatoes in the last 2 days due to some gusty winds.
We ate Arby's for dinner tonight, because it's promotional free "roast beef" sandwich day.
I ate 2 "roast beef" sandwiches, while simultaneously thanking a friend for joining a Facebook cause. The Slow Food (healthy eating) cause.
Round-the-clock rotation of boots and bathing suits, their messy knotty heads of hair, and non-stop improv "shows" make for an unenthusiastic mom.
There are sticks laying on the floor in my kitchen.
The pile of laundry on our bed contains 90% of our entire family's wardrobe.
Fiona is laying stomach-side-down on a skateboard, Neve on her back, rolling from the coffee table to the dining room. And back. At 10:00pm.
I'm too lazy right now to adjust my current wedgie.
There's a pile of dishes in the sink from who-knows-when. ("Roast beef" sandwiches tonight, remember?)
The state of my hands have just left "your charming novice gardener" hands and entered "if they weren't dangling next to your huge ass, you'd think you were a dude" hands.
My legs are so unbelievably itchy from mosquito bites that I'm ready to use the cheese-grater.
There's not a drop of beer nor wine in the house. (The above photo prop was a bottle of balsamic vinegar. For effect.)
And sometimes blog-ventilation like this makes everything a little better. I'm off to take a well-deserved shower. Thank you for being a friend. You're a pal and a confidant.
(This may my creepiest Photoshop creation yet.)
13 comments:
The photo is priceless, and totally sums up how I feel about my day. Although, the details would vary slightly, the general exhaustion, frustration, and lack of alcohol is so there. Praying that tomorrow is fresher and more fabulous for both of us.
I'm sorry, I know you had a crappy day but I am giggling just a little bit at you. That looks like me at the end of every day.
after a long discussion last night about how convicted we both feel concerning our eating habits and how we want to be more healthy - we decided to start off our new dietary direction with some long john silvers! yep, we still have one in our town and it is doing a killer business with all the old folks keeping it a-float (pun intended).
so, you could have done a lot worse than arby's!
just because i confessed my lousy day to you doesn't mean you can write it all out on your blog. They should change the title of that book "what to expect when your expecting" to "expect to be so exhausted you eat arby's for dinner" And if it makes you feel any better we had long john silver for dinner last night, i'm not even kidding.
After being hounded by the media for decades, the true brains behind the beloved pop culture sensation has reluctantly revealed herself in a candid photo session for Vanity Fair with famed photographer, and close "friend", Annie Leibowitz.
who's expecting?
ML
Oh yes. I have had this day. Why does it make me feel so much better to know other people have this day too?
And seriously, Tom's Of Maine deodorant? I have been having this VERY issue the last month. It is July and apparently hippie deodorant only works during the seasons you don't sweat. And do I have some kind of drinking problem if I knew just glancing at that photo that you were not drinking any recognizable form of beer or wine but perhaps were seasoning a salad? And you worked some Rodgers & Hammerstein into your title... am I rubbing off on you?? :)
the book is not "what to expect when you're expecting" because i'm not expecting anything other than sending 2 girls off to college and paying for their weddings. if we're lucky.
i'm holding the dr. sear's discipline book that actually only makes me feel like an impatient bitch of a mom when i do read it. like the balsamic vinegar, it was just for effect.
This is like the movie "When a Stranger Calls" because it has become obvious from reading this post that you are blogging from INSIDE MY HOUSE.
I love you when you're cranky.
oh my gosh.
i think I am too in love with this hilarious post. sorry your day was crappy, but wow, it made for great reading. lol
did you try to garlic, jalepeno and avo??
forgot to add...Tom's of Maine deo is ONLY for the winter months..Repeat, only winter. Unless you don't mind your own smell.
that's my psa for the day.
*HUG* Hahahaha oh man. I relate.
And seriously, that photo almost made me spit water all over my desk. Which I'm sure my cubical mates would have found amusing, but perhaps my keyboard wouldn't have appreciated...
Post a Comment