Naughty or Nice

"Where does Santa live again?"

"The North Pole."

"Are we going there today?"

"No. We're going to the mall."

"Why is Santa at the mall?"

"I don't know. Sbarro and Urban Outfitters?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Does he know everything?"

"I think so. But God more."

"Does he know if I've been good?"

{flashback to earlier that day, and caught on film}

"Yes, (breaking into song), 'You better watch out, You better not-'"

"-um, ok, but will he think I was good enough for presents?"

"Probably not. It's your job to convince him that you deserve presents this year. Why don't you write him a letter?"

"Because I can't spell."

"I'll help you."

{30 minutes later}

"DEAR SANTA,
I WOULD LIKE A BUNNY FAMILY FOR MY DOLL HOUSE. NEVE WANTS A KITTEN FAMILY.

THANK YOU,
FIONA WHITE"



"But I want a My Little Pony set and Hello Kitty dvd."

"Santa says that's too ugly. And you're still not even sure if you've been good enough to get any presents. Better not push your luck."

"Okaaay. (pause) Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"If we buy him a present, will he [be more likely to] bring me presents?"

"We probably shouldn't bribe Santa. When he sees you he'll know if you're one of the good kids or one of the bad kids, with or without gifts for him."

{quietly bites fingernails on the way to the mall}

{nervously waiting in line with her letter}

We wait in line with numerous other mothers, a handful of fathers, and even a few grandmothers who've gift-wrapped their children in Christmas decor. My children seemed so plain compared to the enormous bows and sparkly attire that surrounded us. It was quite a scene. But the objective today was to get Santa the letter and feel him out- are we worthy of a stop on Christmas Eve?

{they caught a glimpse of him while waiting their turn}

{practically bursting at the seams, the girls raced over to the man in red. and what a great santa he was! strange, he had an accent that was a bit more lagrange, georgia than north pole...}

{"Mom! He said we were good this year! I told you we were good this year!"}