My Family, The Linguists

Setting:
sitting around my parents' large dining room table with parents, grandparents, brother, husband, and children, eating leftover hamburgers and hot dogs, and having a post Memorial Day "Round Table".

Grandma:
(she's just said something having to do with the way people "do it differently in the south", most likely referring to the way "those bumpkins" do "their idea of fun" so very "wrong")...

"It's not Brooklyn, that's for sure."

Mom:
"Ma, you wouldn't like it there anymore anyways. It's not like it was. It's gone bad again."

Grandma:
"Yeah, I know. I mean, look at all the nationalities there. It's gotta be bad, right?"

Mom:
"Yeah, since Juli- Juliano (Giuliani) cleaned it up when he was governor, the new guy doesn't care and the streets are all dirty again. Shame."

Grandma:
"But not Long Island! Whatevah he did there was great, cause nothin's changed since we lived there. I was talking to Evelyn's grandaughter the other day, and I says, 'How is it these days?', and she says, 'Same. Nothin's changed'. So, Brooklyn and the city have definitely gotten worse, but Long Island is still wonduhful."

Mom:
"Oh yeah. It's still lovely there. Oh yeah."

Both nod in agreement.

My brother, who lives in Brooklyn, somehow misses this enlightening sociology lesson and walks away. (Had he heard, he'd have said something- for sure.)

My dad, who has an opinion about all things that don't matter, missed it too. (Had he heard, he'd have passionately agreed or disagreed- for sure.)

My grandfather most likely heard, but could care less about anything but the hot dog that was in mid-bite. (I doubt he'd have had an opinion about crime if he were mugged and informed by the robber that "Guliano" told him do it.)

My husband is having a conversation about who knows what with his sketchbook, as a mode of married-into-opinionated-family survival. (Had he heard, he'd have- no, he definitely wasn't listening.)

My children are eating their hot dogs wondering why they don't eat this tender cut of meat more often at their own home.

And I'm stuck being the only person who heard this thick, half-baked exchange about New York, and I'm too amused by their referring to good-friend-"Juliano" to point out my Grandma's very politically incorrect and outdated m.o.

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