I Don't Want To Be Here

Tonight was Open House at Fiona's school.

I have had this night marked on the calendar for months now.

I wanted to see where she sits, I wanted to see all the corny but inevitable motivational posters hanging on the walls, I wanted to meet her friends, and I wanted to get the scoop on my kid.

Is she smart?  Like, just give it to me straight.  From 1- 10, is she like a 6 or a 7?  Okay, so maybe she's like a 5 in academics, but c'mon.  She's like an 8 or 9 in Art, right?  I mean, I can only say that because she has such bad rhythm and probably can't keep a beat in Music class.  So, it kinda evens it out, right?  Right?

What's that?

Have I seen her...

...what the hell is this?  A drawing she did of Hurricane Katrina, you say?  Does she even know about Hurricane Katrina?

Holy...



Good grief.  I love her too.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Best. blog. EVER.

swonderful said...

no effing way. hahahahaha.

i'm still not sure why your blog isn't famous and why you don't have a book deal and all of that. it is the only blog i read that actually, literally, makes me laugh out loud almost all of the time.

you guys are gems.

hope said...

she's practicing her compassion. that makes her the best kind of smart ever. <3

Glorious said...

WOW. Does she remember the flood we had last year maybe? Your child is prolifically sweet!

Tracy said...

So funny. When we went to Lila Jane's open house, her teacher told us to check out her story journal. She had written 6 detailed stories with pictures about cockroaches. Not just roaches, she spelled out the entire word (or tried to, anyway). Which is weird since we call them "beetles" in our house. And all of the stories took place in our house. Seriously, she has spent the whole school year so far spinning cockroach yarns.

janet l moran said...

i think she recalling your visit to our house when she found you face down passed out on the floor.

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

I love the new header and design.

Also

Fiona is a sage.

Anonymous said...

Just about fell out of the chair! Holy....! It's so sweet and yet so....unusual? What is Terry reading them at bedtime or is there a hurricane or flood wii game?
Also, she can draw better than this - maybe she's sitting there thinking "I really should be in Art School"! It's hilarious - sooo glad it doesn't say "I want my mom dead" or Fiona would be some serious therapy! :-)
ML

Madeline said...

I agree with Erin! This blog of yours is priceless.

Anonymous said...

Forgot to say Fiona's spelling is great!
ML