Bitter Sweet

Today we celebrated our fathers, living and passed.  I spent the day with my husband, my father, my grandfather, and my uncle (and all their lovely wives), over lunch, dessert, and coffee.  I felt so lucky to have all these wonderful men eating sandwiches in my living room.

A week ago, while we were in Jacksonville, Terry spread his father's ashes into the same waters he used to travel in his Bayliner.  In 2002, Ricky (Dad) passed unexpectedly, and we've since waited for the perfect opportunity to have a proper memorial.  For no other reason than just "why not now?", we decided on our last visit to meet Terry's sweet brother and sister at the jetties and just do it.  Casual and heartfelt, the way Ricky would have wanted it.

Terry's dad was amazing.  He had a passion for aviation and flew privately for many years.  He was a successful entrepreneur for most of his life.  He spent the majority of his life with my mother-in-law, who he loved very much until the end.  He was a great dad- tender, funny, and so loving of his three kids.  And each child has inherited unmistakable traits of his.  As I stood behind Jordan, Adrian, and Terrence on the beach, I could see Ricky's physical appearance exhibited differently in each of them.  It was kind of amusing actually.

Adrian has her father's muscular legs (less hair and far more lovely than his, of course),

while Jordan was handed down his father's upper body, particularly his arms and hands (just like I remember them looking when we hugged for the first time),

and Terry with his father's eyes, facial expressions, and distinct sense of humor.

We made a mix of Buddy Holly songs (one of his dad's favorites), looked at old pictures of him, and ate peanut M&M's in his honor.

I know this day is hard for all who've lost their fathers, and my husband is no exception.  Although he says he thinks about him daily, there is something special about the dedication of one day to reflect on all the happy times they had.  And there were many.

Toddler Terry, Lani, and Ricky, Christmas '77.

Ricky in his kitchen couture, during what Lani called his "Frito Bandito phase".

Ricky, still in the kitchen, with unidentifiable man in oven gloves.

Ricky holds Terry (in shorts I had hoped to get him for Father's Day in his current size) at the zoo, '81.