we are not losing our minds per se, just sort of oscillating between loving our time together and feeling a bit like prison mates.
truthfully, this quarantine has really helped me see some ugly truths about myself: i don't cook enough, i waste too much food, i forget that this house is a living thing that is as lovely when it's in the throes of productive messes as it is when it's clean (which seems to only be when everyone is asleep these days), i don't get outside enough, i haven't taught my children how to be independent, and i don't take enough time to be with my kids in that really present way. in other words, i think this quarantined life is probably more like what everyday life should look like, forcing me to confront these truths and make some changes.
and it's not just me...
the girls are getting along so much better than they usually do. i guess at some point they all realized that there's no escaping one another so might as well make the most of it. fiona & neve have been having "sleepovers", alternating between each other's rooms every other night. frances has been invited into their fold as well, and this is not lost on her. "mama, i think i might be a big girl now, because they want to talk to me about clothes and makeup stuff". my heart can barely handle it. and we've watched 'lady bird' and 'jojo rabbit' together without phones in hands, no talking, from start to finish. this is a big deal for us, guys.
i mean there have been some lows too, don't get me wrong. having terry work from + poor internet connection means that he's had to set up his whole big cintiq and lighting and computer shabang at the dining room table which is positioned right smack dab in the center of the house. he does stop motion animations for work using clay, and you better believe that clay migrates around the whole bleepin house all day long. yesterday, after walking into a kitchen that was clean 15 minutes earlier and now covered in mac n cheese detritus, stepping over a pile of clothes that i'm also sure was clean hours earlier but now mingles with dirty towels and wet dishrags next to a hamper (why???), and seeing a detached head of a bird at the back porch door (psycho cats!!!), i also spot a phallic clump of clay that was not in it's designated clay space. no one admits to being the penis maker, and terry (who admittedly is the only one of us with a penis, therefore making him more of an expert than the rest of us) said he didn't even see a penis (not even a picasso penis) in the clump, but rather an unintentional tube of clay that could be perceived as a penis if so inclined to be in the gutter, which my mind apparently is more often than not. i don't know. i'm not even sure the shape was what was problematic, but more the fact that i have no control over anything in my house anymore. nothing. while the cdc is feverishly trying to concoct a covid19 vaccine, my children are feverishlytrying to perfect their kraft™ mac n cheese treatment. they are committed to making mac n cheese 4 times a day, preferably right after i have cleaned the test lab. and clay- the clay. it's all just too much. and wine cannot be the answer yet. it's just too early to be drinking because i'm seeing penises and am mad about mac n cheese. too soon.
but these things aside, we are fine! being caregivers to someone with respiratory issues (my mother in law lives with us too) means that we have to go to extra great lengths to quarantine, and that's okay. it makes us all the more grateful for our home and yard and our time together and a job that allows us to work remotely (clay!) and the sounds of spring all around us (r.i.p. sweet birdy).
i found these cute cardboard animals on pinterest via super make it, and decided to make a zoo with frankie this morning. also, i'm loving all the kids craft ideas being posted on instagram. i've started a 'covid crafting' board on pinterest if anyone else needs a little extra inspiration these days. stay strong, friends.