a defining moment (or the day my daughter decided to hate art)

Fiona: "Mom, what's it called when someone takes a video of something and then changes it to make it look like this?"

(She does a weird dance-like thing where she walks back and forth a step, over and over again.)

Me: "Editing?"

(Blank stare and pause)

Fiona: "Are you asking me?  Because I just asked you."

Me: "I think you mean editing.  Someone chops the video up and then puts it back together like a puzzle?"

Fiona: "Yeah, editing.  How do you do it?"

Me:  "Fiona!  That was my major in college!  Did you know that I took three years of experimental video?  I should show you some of my old videos!  Oooh, and there's this artist named Matthew Barney you may like... one day... you're a little young for his sensibilities I guess, but oh!  I know!  There's a place called the Experimental Television Center where artists, big names, little names, I almost went for a summer in fact, went into the middle of nowhere in NY and just did these crazy experiments with video and technology, but all fun and creative and innovative stuff that would probably blow our minds today.  I bet the work there has changed so much just since I was in school, what was that?  10 years ago?!  10 years ago.  Wow.  But anyway, some were solely video-based, and others were elaborate multi-media installations, and you could even take some classes there one day!  Your father and I would love to see you just explore the medium in an environment free from criticism.  Where you can just be raw and uncensored.  Gah- I almost forgot about this class I took my last year where we used sensors, you know sensors... they're like those things that trigger... aghhh, how do I explain sensors to a kid?  Well, you know how you point your wii remote to that little thing above the tv?  Well there are sensors in there.  Motion sensors in that, but you can also find moisture sensors, sound sensors, you name it, we'll sensor it... anyway, I'm telling you this because I'm thinking about the endless possibilities in the realm of experimental video.  You can literally do just about anything your mind can think up, with a little research, a computer, a video camera, and maybe a few motion sensors hooked up to a circuit board?  Do they use those anymore?  I don't know, but we'll figure it out.  I'm so excited, Fiona!  What a great project to work on.  It's kind of like that robot you wanted to build, but... not.  It's like video, uh, robotics.  Or it's like the interactivity of a robot but with video.  I'm not really doing this whole thing justice, but wait until I show you some of the beautiful pieces out there, your brain will explode!  Oh, Laurie Anderson, you'll probably be really inspired by her.  So much good stuff for us to explore on the subject, Fiona... you want your piece to be interactive, right?  Wait... what's your idea again?"

After I attacked my daughter with information that's useless for at least another 10 years (or maybe for the rest of her life), my eyes rolled back to the front and here's what was staring back:


Fiona: "Um.  I think I want to video myself singing, and then put like stars or something behind me.  Maybe Neve could be in my video too."

Me: "Yes.  I think you just do whatever you'd like and then I'll teach you how to put stars behind you and Neve.  I love you."

Fiona: "I love you too, Mom.  So... you went to college, huh?"

2011 Christmas card rejects

Each caption is Fiona's voice.  Can you tell who's the trouble-maker out of the two?

"neve, be normal."
"that's not normal."
"mom, help?"
"this was actually a good idea, neve.  mom, can we use the orange boobs picture for the christmas card?"

Owl!

Fiona spent the better part of the day making clay sculptures to give to family and friends as Christmas presents.  She has an impressive inventory already lined up to dry, as she begins to think about who she wants to give what to.

"Mom, what would Uncle joey like best?  A sculpture of me?  No.  That's weird.  A monster.  A monster?  I'll make him a monster.  Aaaand, Aunt Rachel.  What should I make her?"  I am beginning to see the hint of crazy in her eye.  You know, the one where everything gets really serious and focused?  I try to reel her back in.

"Well, you made a few owls here that are pretty great.  What about an owl?"

"Uhhh, owls aren't her thing.  She needs a guitar with a smiley face.  I'll make her one of those."

She writes "RACHEL GITS GITAR" on a piece of paper.

"And Uncle Josh?  What does he like?", face scrunched up, pencil under her chin.

"Hmmm, I think he'd like any one of these cute guys you've already made.  After you glaze them, they'll be beautiful!  I know he'll love it."

Here it comes, "Mom!  No!  We can keep these or give them to people who like- you know, people who don't care about stuff- they can get these!  I'm making stuff especially for that person.  I'll think about Uncle Josh later.  Aunt Jackie?  She likes cats, right?  You once said... 'Jackie likes cats'.  I know you did.  She'll get a cat.", as more notes are being taken.  I don't recall ever mentioning Aunt Jackie's love for cats, but I'm sure she wouldn't object to a cat sculpture.

"And Uncle Nat?  He DEFINITELY gets a gun."  Gun.  Check.  (He's in the Air Force.)

"Oh, wow.  A miniature clay gun?  By an eight year old?  I dunno... maybe an owl would be nice instead."

"And Mike- Mike, Mike, Mike.  He's hard."

"No he's not!  He's eight, like you!  Whatever you like, he'll like!  Don't over think it!  Give him an owl!"

"Okay, okay.  Mike... gets... a... owl...", she mutters under her breath as she scribbles it onto the same piece of paper.

And as though she'd been planning this one all year, she says, "Mr. Jake will get a taco."

"Why are you going to make Mr. Jake a clay taco?"

"Because he's Mexican."

I was afraid that was why.

"Fiona, go with the owl please."